I have not lost. Im just lost.

Today. Mr ong spoke to me again. abt myself.
i feel that im really useless. i have not changed at all.
im still the old me. the sec 1 boy who is very shy . who dont have friends.
IM TRYING. IM TRYING ALL I COULD. IM TRYING MORE THAN OTHERS COULD.
WHY I CAME BACK AGAIN. ALL THESE ARE FAKE.
WHAT I GOT IS NOT REAL

Im too childish. i thought i have. i thought i got.
Today. i think i did really alot of wrong things.
in fact. everyday.
WHY AM I SO AGGRO. WHY CANT I STAND. WHY CANT I BE MORE CIVILIZED.
Who am i. am i a kid. am i someone who is paper-made.
Today i ate my brudder bun. HIS DINNER. TML HE HAVING LISTENING COMPRE.
IM NOT HELPING YET stealing his bun.
WHY CANT I ASK CAUSE HE HAVE LC TML !
WHAT I HELPED HIM? ! NOTHING.
IM JUST BEING TOUGH AND AGGRO WITH HIM. AM I A BRUDDER.
IM SHAMEFUL.

WHAT IM DOING. IM WASTING MY TIME. WASTING LIFE.
WASTING MY PAST EFFORTS.
I GOT COVERED BY DESIRES AND RETARDATION.
IM TRYINGGGGGGGGGG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I made myself cold. so i can concentrate. WHAT I WANT !?
I WANT SUCCESS ?! WHAT IS SUCCESS ?!!
IM JUST BINDLY COVERED AND WALKING

WHY CANT I TREAT OTHERS TRUTHFULLY. SINCERELY.
I ALSO WANT TO BE WHO AM I.
I ALSO WANT DO WHAT I LIKE.
WHY AM I LIKE THIS. Sorry Aaron.
Wo zuo bu dao ni yao de dong xi.
WO hen xin ku. hen fan. hen tong.
wo jue de zi ji bi sec1 de wo hai shi bai.
Na shi de wo shi ben ! KE SHI TA YOU GU QI. TA ZUO ZI JI YAO ZUO DE DONG XI.
WO JIU XIANG SHI SLAVE. TRAP ZI JI. TRAP WO SHEN BIAN DE REN.

Cheng gong. ni hen cheng gong ?? Yi qie dou shi jia de. Dao tou lai shen me dou mei you.
Wo ji shi neng cheng wei yi ge ren ?
One normal and happy boy.
normal one.